Big Life Stuffs

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Empathy-2

I’m sorry that it’s been so long since I did a “regular” post. Things have been incredibly hectic and I just honestly haven’t made the time to do it until now.

I believe I mentioned in my first post that I was going to be starting my master’s degree in counseling and that I was nervous about getting back in the game and going back to school. Well, this is my third week of graduate school and I have to say that I’m enjoying it quite a bit so far. My program is small- my cohort has 15 (or maybe 16?) people whom I will get to know pretty well over the next five semesters, and they seem cool so far. My teachers all seem great so far; they’re very interesting and knowledgeable and I’m looking forward to getting to know them better and learn from their experience. I’m still having moments of intense anxiety where I worry if I’m doing the right thing and heading down the right path for me. I need to work on my confidence issues for sure. Luckily, I’m blessed to have an amazing support system of the boyfriend, family, friends, etc. They’re amazing and certainly help keep me sane. Thanks for putting up with me, guys!

Another big thing adding to my anxiety/stress levels lately is the fact that I’m starting a new job. That’s right, I’m finally going to escape the evil night shift and put my undergrad degree to use for a change. And I’ll even have my own office, just like a real grown up! I’m going to be doing counseling at a local methadone maintenance clinic. And yes, I’m pretty terrified about it. Not because addicts scare me or anything, but this a huge step out of my comfort zone. I’m not feeling totally confident about my abilities just yet, but I think after the initial training and getting my feet wet, I will (hopefully) come to enjoy it at least a little bit and feel like I’m making a difference (and not completely hate it.) It will be good experience while I’m working on my degree, if nothing else. Obviously, I’m not going to be posting a lot about this part of my life because of confidentiality and whatnot, but I did want to at least share that I might be finally moving in the right direction. I’m doing something at least, not just sitting around stagnant which is how I’ve felt for the last few years.

9cc8c3f0af23e745931d6fad8df3c0bfOne thing I definitely plan on doing once I get used to the new job and new shift is getting back on track food and fitness-wise. I am ashamed to admit that I have not been doing stellar in these areas of my life as of late. I’m fairly certain I’ve gained at least 10lbs back if not more. My clothes feel tight again, nothing feels right, and I certainly don’t feel as sexy or attractive. But hey, this has happened before. Fitness and health are something to strive for every day, not destinations in and of themselves. I’ve fallen off the wagon before. I just need to dust myself off, pick up my pride and give it a shake, and get back on track. It’s super easy to get off track and gain weight back. Getting back to it is the tricky part. I got this!

Some of my health goals as of right now (I’ve listed these before, but they’re an ever-changing thing for me, always needing revised as goals are met/not met):

  • Start running again, even if it’s just sprints a few days a week. I do it occasionally not, but not with any sort of regularity. I haven’t been doing anything with any sort of regularity lately; that’s the problem
  • Start juicing again. I felt really good when I was juicing regularly
  • Eat less processed food. Always a struggle for me, especially when I’m busy
  • Find a counselor for myself. I’ve been saying I need to do this for a few years now and I think it’s time. I’ve heard it’s a good idea for counselors to have counselors of their own and that makes perfect sense to me
  • Put together some kind of weight lifting routine
  • Try to go to a Zumba class or other group fitness class every once in a while
  • Eat less meat. I’ve sort of adopted a “weekday vegetarian” approach lately and have been eating some meat on the weekends. That probably sounds like sissy stuff to any hardcore vegetarians out there, but it’s working for me for right now and that’s what I care about. Plus I figure it’s still an improvement over eating it every day. I’d still like to get better about it, even on the weekends. It’s just tough when I genuinely like the way it tastes. Damn you, tasty animals!
  • Have sex more often. I’m sorry to my family members who may be reading this, but let’s not kid ourselves, I live with a boy so I’m obviously no saint when it comes to that. And hey, sex is a great stress reliever and form of exercise. It’s an important part of any relationship and helps keep me sane. I’m not ashamed to admit that. Bring on the frick frack!
  • Do more yoga and/or learn to meditate. I need to seriously work on my stress coping techniques and learn to manage this shit better
  • Take walks outside more often. Or just spend more time outside in general. This is my favorite time of year and I want to get as much natural light as I can before winter sets in and I get depressed from everything being cold and gray all the time. The snow is pretty and all, but that shit gets old real fast (apparently “shit” is the word of the day)

Anyways, that’s pretty much where I’m at right now. Things are moving, and even if I’m scared shitless (there it is again!), I’m glad that I’m doing something and not just sitting around waiting for things to happen anymore.

19c4e30002c3050b21d1d9469c54b206 Megamouse out!

And just to give you a laugh..
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Pretty much 😀

Prep Week Days 1-3

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Fotor071101649Other than some major pizza/chocolate cravings, prep week is going well so far. Tomorrow (or I guess later today…night shift has me all screwed up, guys) will be my first day of no meat. Wish me luck! It’s definitely going to be a challenge.

Here’s a general overview of what I’ve been eating the last few days:

Tuesday
Carrot Apple Lemon juice- this was my favorite so far; so tasty!
Steak (which lasted me two meals)
Salad with balsamic vinegar
Strawberries & cherries
Green peppers
Water w/ lemon & mint

Wednesday
Bye Bye Blues juice (limes, cucumber, and blueberries)
Tilapia baked in coconut oil
Long grain rice
Edamame
Stawberries and blueberries
Chicken & Rice Healthy Choice soup
Water infused with strawberry
Also took 2 walks and did some 3 rounds of strength training moves

Thursday
Beet-ini juice (beets, apples, and oranges).
Protein shake (pea protein, PB2, banana, coconut milk)
Baked chicken breast
Salad
Vegan cookie (idk if this was cheating, but if so it was at least healthy cheating)
Black bean burger
And took a long walk in the evening

Today was my first experience with beets since I was a kid.

Any 90s kids out there?

They were messy, and the juice looked like blood (okay so maybe I pretended I was a vampire, don’t judge me), but it really wasn’t bad. It maybe wasn’t my favorite, but it was still good. I’m excited to branch out and try new veggies and things I haven’t tried before. I want to make sure I’m getting all of the nutrients and good stuff that my body needs so that means that variety is important.

 It’s certainly been a challenge, especially watching my boyfriend eat bacon and get double chocolate frappuchinos. That bastard (I love you, sweetie!). I think the next few days are going to be especially difficult. I need to look through the vegan cookbook that I bought and try some of those recipes. I feel better if I have plan; I’m less likely to slip up that way. We bought a weekly dry erase board for the kitchen to plan out our meals for the week and it seems to be helping so far.

So other than being hungry (not super hungry) and having cravings, I’m feeling good. I haven’t felt puffy or bloated at all the last few days. I can’t wait to see how I feel in the last 10 days when I’m getting my nutrients solely from juice.

Well folks, I’m pretty pooped tonight so I’ll keep this post short and sweet. More updates to come soon! Hopefully in the meantime I don’t turn into the Hulk and destroy the city in a craving-induced rage.

p.s. A cashier definitely notices when you buy 6 cucumbers and a gigantic bag of carrots. I thought about making a suspicious face and telling her they were for “things” but I decided to be normal. People’s reactions to this endeavor should be interesting, I’m betting.

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Fitness Friday: My Story

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up to you

Happy Friday everyone! Today’s blog post is dedicated to fitness and I’m going to tell you a little bit about my background. I first started working out and actually trying to take care of myself during my last semester of college in 2011. During my college career I sailed right past the Freshman Fifteen and went straight to the Freshman Forty. Not a good place to be, I assure you. I developed awful acid reflux and was completely ashamed of myself. And of course it didn’t do good things for my self-esteem. One of the hardest parts was feeling disappointed in myself (I never thought I’d ever let that happen) and knowing that others were disappointed in me too. However, I was fortunate enough to participate in a new free program my school was trying out called The Wellness Program. For an entire semester I got a personal trainer (who was amazing!) and free nutrition coaching and classes. It was wonderful. I lost my first 10lbs during the program and a bunch of inches, especially around my waist.My eating habits still weren’t great, but at least I was working out regularly and I learned a lot.

It was harder to keep up my new healthier habits once I moved back home and got a full time job. But I never gained those 10lbs back, and later that fall I got back on the wagon. I started eating healthier (which is not easy working in an office, let me tell you) and working out regularly again. It seemed like the next 20lbs flew off. I got so many compliments and got to buy new clothes. And I felt so much better in general, mentally as well as physically. I was running regularly and it was an incredible stress reliever. I even completed Hal Higdon’s half-marathon training plan and ran my first half-marathon that following May! I did various workouts, mostly running, Zumba, and a variety of Jillian Michaels dvds- her workouts are kickasss. A lot of hard work got the next 10lbs off and I was back to my pre-college weight. Finally.

before and after

2010 / 2014

But I still wasn’t completely happy. I felt great, yes, but wasn’t where I wanted to be. I hate to say it but I’ve been bouncing around that same weight ever since. I would say that I am overall fairly happy with my body. I’m definitely looking and feeling much better than I did, but I’m not quite where I want to be. I want to lose some more fat and tone up. I have to admit, though, that I no longer care what number the scale says. I couldn’t even tell you my weight right now. What I can tell you is that I don’t feel right. Lately my clothes are feeling tighter and I just don’t feel as well overall. And it is definitely all my fault. I could make excuses all day about how my crappy night shift schedule makes it more difficult to workout, or how I’m always  busy or tired. And all of these things are true, but when it comes down to it you have to make time for your body. When I’m piling on the excuses I remember that there are busier people out there who make time for working out and eating right. Eating right has been my biggest obstacle lately. I love working out and how it makes me feel, so it’s easier for me to squeeze in a workout than it is to take the time and effort to eat better. I love healthy food, but the siren call of fast food has been winning out much too often lately, especially when we’re busy. And I’ve been making unhealthy choices at restaurants and in the grocery store. What it comes down is that I have not been doing my best for myself. I need to get back on track. Here are some my current healthy goals:

  • Eat more fruits and vegetables
  • Eat less meat
  • No more fast food. Period.
  • Lift weights 2-3x a week
  • Run and/or go for walks several times a week
  • Watch less tv
  • Do more yoga
  • Try something new, fitness-wise. I’d love to try kickboxing classes
  • Workout outside more. I need that D! (vitamin D, you pervs)

pull up

That was me a few months ago doing my first band-assisted pull-up. I was so excited! I had been lifting weights regularly and finally saw some results. Sadly, I can no longer do one since I haven’t been strength training enough lately. I like to look at this, and to look at my old college photos to remind myself where I came from and how great I still can be. I’ve come a long way and I don’t plan on giving up now.

I need to learn to be more forgiving of myself when I fall off the wagon. It happens to everyone. No one is perfect. But I also need to learn when to suck it up, shut down the pity party, and get my ass in gear. It’s time to kick this shit into gear, people. For real.

One way I plan on doing this is by tackling my eating habits head on. I recently watched the Joe Cross documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead and was inspired by Joe’s story. If you haven’t watched it, I definitely recommend it. Basically he did a major reboot and drank only fruit and vegetable juice for 60 days. I know what you’re thinking. What a nutjob, he’s crazy, and maybe he was a little, but he’s certainly started a movement. Just check out the movie or even check out the site rebootwithjoe.com and see what it’s about. I don’t think I need to do something as drastic as 60 days, but I am going to try his 15 day reboot. I think it’s just the ticket to detox my body and get things back on track. I have some serious food addictions that need broken. I also really just want to get back to my natural state. We eat so much processed garbage. It’s ridiculous. Like Joe says in the movie, we’re overfed yet starving because our food has so few nutrients in it. Once I get it all planned out and started I’ll keep you all posted on my progress. Maybe that will help keep me on track 🙂

reboot book

Well, that’s my story. I am, as we all are, a work in progress (in more ways than one.) I’m always up for learning new fitness and healthy living, so please feel free to leave me a comment or shoot me a message with your story or the things you like to do to keep fit. I’ll continue posting about fitness-related things on occasion and share anything neat that I find with everyone.

no excuses