I’m sorry that it’s been so long since I did a “regular” post. Things have been incredibly hectic and I just honestly haven’t made the time to do it until now.
I believe I mentioned in my first post that I was going to be starting my master’s degree in counseling and that I was nervous about getting back in the game and going back to school. Well, this is my third week of graduate school and I have to say that I’m enjoying it quite a bit so far. My program is small- my cohort has 15 (or maybe 16?) people whom I will get to know pretty well over the next five semesters, and they seem cool so far. My teachers all seem great so far; they’re very interesting and knowledgeable and I’m looking forward to getting to know them better and learn from their experience. I’m still having moments of intense anxiety where I worry if I’m doing the right thing and heading down the right path for me. I need to work on my confidence issues for sure. Luckily, I’m blessed to have an amazing support system of the boyfriend, family, friends, etc. They’re amazing and certainly help keep me sane. Thanks for putting up with me, guys!
Another big thing adding to my anxiety/stress levels lately is the fact that I’m starting a new job. That’s right, I’m finally going to escape the evil night shift and put my undergrad degree to use for a change. And I’ll even have my own office, just like a real grown up! I’m going to be doing counseling at a local methadone maintenance clinic. And yes, I’m pretty terrified about it. Not because addicts scare me or anything, but this a huge step out of my comfort zone. I’m not feeling totally confident about my abilities just yet, but I think after the initial training and getting my feet wet, I will (hopefully) come to enjoy it at least a little bit and feel like I’m making a difference (and not completely hate it.) It will be good experience while I’m working on my degree, if nothing else. Obviously, I’m not going to be posting a lot about this part of my life because of confidentiality and whatnot, but I did want to at least share that I might be finally moving in the right direction. I’m doing something at least, not just sitting around stagnant which is how I’ve felt for the last few years.
One thing I definitely plan on doing once I get used to the new job and new shift is getting back on track food and fitness-wise. I am ashamed to admit that I have not been doing stellar in these areas of my life as of late. I’m fairly certain I’ve gained at least 10lbs back if not more. My clothes feel tight again, nothing feels right, and I certainly don’t feel as sexy or attractive. But hey, this has happened before. Fitness and health are something to strive for every day, not destinations in and of themselves. I’ve fallen off the wagon before. I just need to dust myself off, pick up my pride and give it a shake, and get back on track. It’s super easy to get off track and gain weight back. Getting back to it is the tricky part. I got this!
Some of my health goals as of right now (I’ve listed these before, but they’re an ever-changing thing for me, always needing revised as goals are met/not met):
- Start running again, even if it’s just sprints a few days a week. I do it occasionally not, but not with any sort of regularity. I haven’t been doing anything with any sort of regularity lately; that’s the problem
- Start juicing again. I felt really good when I was juicing regularly
- Eat less processed food. Always a struggle for me, especially when I’m busy
- Find a counselor for myself. I’ve been saying I need to do this for a few years now and I think it’s time. I’ve heard it’s a good idea for counselors to have counselors of their own and that makes perfect sense to me
- Put together some kind of weight lifting routine
- Try to go to a Zumba class or other group fitness class every once in a while
- Eat less meat. I’ve sort of adopted a “weekday vegetarian” approach lately and have been eating some meat on the weekends. That probably sounds like sissy stuff to any hardcore vegetarians out there, but it’s working for me for right now and that’s what I care about. Plus I figure it’s still an improvement over eating it every day. I’d still like to get better about it, even on the weekends. It’s just tough when I genuinely like the way it tastes. Damn you, tasty animals!
- Have sex more often. I’m sorry to my family members who may be reading this, but let’s not kid ourselves, I live with a boy so I’m obviously no saint when it comes to that. And hey, sex is a great stress reliever and form of exercise. It’s an important part of any relationship and helps keep me sane. I’m not ashamed to admit that. Bring on the frick frack!
- Do more yoga and/or learn to meditate. I need to seriously work on my stress coping techniques and learn to manage this shit better
- Take walks outside more often. Or just spend more time outside in general. This is my favorite time of year and I want to get as much natural light as I can before winter sets in and I get depressed from everything being cold and gray all the time. The snow is pretty and all, but that shit gets old real fast (apparently “shit” is the word of the day)
Anyways, that’s pretty much where I’m at right now. Things are moving, and even if I’m scared shitless (there it is again!), I’m glad that I’m doing something and not just sitting around waiting for things to happen anymore.
Pretty much 😀