Okay so how are we already part-way through August? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was getting ready to start college when it was actually four years ago.
Lately it seems like most days are just a blur to me and I really hate that. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize my whole life has flown right past me while I was busy worrying and fretting over this and that. Even if I’m not exactly where I want to be in life yet at this moment, I still need to learn to slow down and be more present. Even on good days when Steven and I are just relaxing and having fun together I still find my mind occasionally drifting and worrying about the future- how are we ever going to save up for a house when we barely have enough to pay bills and buy food, we should be cleaning the apartment instead of being lazy, how am I ever going to pay off my student loans when I just keep adding more to them; the list goes on and on. Thankfully I’m able to tone that down a good bit on our nights off together (seeing as we only have one work-free night a week together right now I really don’t waste it by worrying or being in a bad mood.)
It just seems like I find myself stressing more and more over everything lately. I’m starting to realize that things will probably always feel this way: there will always be a job to go to, appointments to make and keep, and other obligations. It will always be a balancing act to keep them all straight, have enough time to sleep, try to make time to exercise and make dinner and have time together as a couple (bow chicka wow-wow, haha), and again the list goes on and on. And we don’t even have kids yet. Gods help us when do. Things will always be busy, so I think I need to learn to just take things as they come and stop fretting over every little thing. Part of being a grown up (I just threw up in my mouth a little) means doing crap you don’t want to do. It’s inevitable. Would I rather stay home and watch Dr. Who in my underoos than go to work? Of course! Who wouldn’t? But that’s just not in the cards right now (come on, lottery!) so I need to get over it. I can’t always have full control over things like that in my life, but I can control my attitude and how I approach a given situation or stressor.
Doing this is tough for me; it’s much easier said than done. Sometimes it’s easier to be in a crabby mood and blame everything else, and I think it’s perfectly fine to be in a bad mood sometimes. That’s natural. But I’ve definitely been letting it happen more often than necessary lately. And I don’t like the person that I become when I’m like that. When I get that way I feel like I’m a crappy girlfriend, daughter, friend, co-worker, etc. I too often let it get overwhelming and let it shut me down. I can’t let it take my spark, my mojo!I feel like I’ve rambled a bit in this short post, my apologies. I feel like I’m not alone in this, though. I think it’s a pretty normal thing to get swept away by that evil bitch, Every Day Life. She makes the time fly, makes us tired, makes it tougher to make time for friends and family that we don’t see enough. I’m making it my own personal goal to beat her ass down and take back the time, even it just means scrounging a few moments together during my lunch break to take a walk, or watching a video that makes me laugh, or dancing around like a goob in the kitchen with Steven while we’re making dinner. It’s the little things, folks.
If you can relate to any of the feelings I’ve been talking about, how do you deal with them personally? Any tricks or tips?
And just because I think they’re the cutest little things I ever did see, here’s a micropig: